In pain is power...

In the distance I still hear
the echos of my demons I fear
the chase is not over
though the case has gone sour

Imminent demise is what’s waiting
no cause to prove in hating
the mind it keeps serrating
it’s a curse that my heart’s still beating

Deafening are the whispers that haunt
crippling are the thoughts that taunt
feelings making courage so gaunt
restrained by thoughts so flaunt

bathed in agony’s never-ending shower
from this sting one finds no cover
i can only hope during this darkest hour
that “In pain is power”

image link - [http://graphics.crucialattack.nl/covers/Seed_Of_Pain_-_Power_Corruption_And_Lies-LP.jpg]

I love you

I love you for who you are
for loving me without thinking afar
I love you for what u mean to me
not what on the outside I see
I love you for what you made out of me
cz without you it’s what I’d never be
I love you for being there
when alone I could not bear
I love you for the smiles
when I shed tears through the miles
I love you for your sweet heart
which inspired mine to start
I love you for putting up with me
when it’s been hard to agree
I love you for who you are
not for this everlasting scar…..

Empty room

There was a window and a door
I was looking out of the window
you came through the door
into my empty room
filled only with cobwebs and a broom

You brought a lamp with you
into my room dark and blue
I saw you through your light
my eyes had never gazed upon such sight
gleaming and gorgeous ever so bright
everything just felt so right

I was quick to kindle the lamp
failed to see it was just boot camp
which you’d fold up and leave
leaving me darkness and grieve
the light that filled the space is no more
this room is empty with window and door

The promises we made
into time will fade
but the memories will last
till out of this life I am cast

I stare out of the window again
you’re in a castle of someone else’s domain
the tears drop on the window sill 
chilly wind, feelingless I feel no chill

You castle with strong walls and beams
will be far away from my agonizing screams
but to find comfort over a warm fire
my door is still open if you desire 

image link [http://jamesleejobe.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/6a00d83451d77069e20147e3823532970b-800wi.jpg]

Guilty

just something i'd like to share

this is not in pain or despair

I’m speaking for my behavior

don't ever feel guilty for my love failure...

cz you are not the reason i failed....

you are the reason i tried...

tried too hard, for too long,

that you've been etched so strong

my failure was my own doing....

my own selfishness and stupidity...

I never hold you to it...

You’re not to be blamed even a bit

I’ve realized how much hurt I’ve created

i know my apologies are worthless and belated

call me pathetic call me lame

these lines i write not to dishonor your name

nor is this an attempt to cry or call

to gain attention from a living soul

it’s just that writing words calms my mind

and helps me put  unpleasant things behind

if you want me to go my own way

remember

without your attention I’d fade away

it’s already happened during the past few days

I feel tortured in unimaginable ways

but this is not an attempt for redemption

just wish I had a drop of your attention

I don’t care what the world tells me

I don’t care what the people see

don’t judge a person by some social site

judge me if u must by the cause I fight

yes I said I just want to be a friend

and yes I blew it cz for me it didn’t seem the end

that was my mistake I never saw

you lead your own life out of my law

people make mistakes and I’ve made one too many

but if a drop of care in your heart you have any

I have plans to go away

So that your eyes don’t see me everyday

But before I go I’m on my knees pleading to you

Please reconsider the act of silence , please do

image link [http://www.qwitr.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/guilt1.jpeg]

Our friendship

This I write while having a thought
during a time when we have fought
in a moment of time my mind is caught
to figure why this peril has been brought

People come, people go
but you never really have enough and more
though the bonds you grow
will have their own high and the low

Guess this is one of those highs
where the limits are beyond the skies
its value cannot have a price,
for friendship is not a game of dice

Sometimes I get high on careless dreams
that’s when you hear these selfish screams
making this bond of a concrete beam
tender and soft like whipped cream

Forgive me I ask you again
knowing I might have caused you pain
let me correct myself and try to be sane
keep away and from pleasantries I’ll refrain

The space you need is all yours
the life you want is set on its course
just like how ink follows paper from its source
i’ll stand by your life like codes of morse

image link http://www.modernlifeblogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/5-Soulful-Ways-To-Support-Your-Best-Friends.jpg

Frustration

Yea I’ll stare out into the black
out into the stars through a small crack
a crack in the roof above my head
stare till loneliness drains out and I’m dead

where am I heading now…
wasted opportunities and lost love
missed chances to move on
seen as one pathetic moron

I go back to one day in time
when my heart committed the crime
it’s hard enough knowing you’ve lost
whilst feeling alone stuck in love’s frost

that one mistake one false move
changed my heart's entire groove
through the years it's become my butter and bread
like being alive whilst being dead 

Smiling at me brings self-pity
in the end all this is real witty
cz I’ve managed to fool myself
into feeling loved by oneself…

engulfed in flames of my burning vision
frustration fuels it like nuclear fission

though you can't hear I'm shouting out
hope the wind carries it out and about

Thing is, in the end it always feels shitty
perhaps a song to rid the feeling so gritty
I’d probably feel more cared with a mug of toddy
rather than being nothing to nobody…


image link [http://th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/128/3/0/frustration__by_eyadoos-d3fwmm6.jpg]

be my friend...

Over the course of these years
I’ve made barriers out of tears
they keep thoughts from escaping
and keeps me from feeling

made strong by binds of determination
but the smallest ounce of affection
melts them like molten glass
and I drift into dream worlds alas

this is however to let you know
I do not seek anything more

other than your living presence

cz it’s what feeds my life essence

You being close will not elevate hope
not a feeling shall secretly grope

I’m headstrong and know the confine
of this friendship I’d rather not define

Today was a special day 
with you I wanted to stay
to be consumed in the moments
a few hours to forget the torments

you turned it down without remorse
I see now why thorns infest even the rose
but it’s ok, I wouldn’t expect you to care
as I’ve endured even this I’ll bear

I know this poem is all about ME,
but it’s not about selfishness you’d agree
you being mine is not what I foresee
a friend is what I always try to be


image link[http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=my+friend#/d3a5o3x]